


down.

by malecstozier



Series: 3B inspired fics/codas [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x18 Coda, Emotional Hurt No Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane centric, Mentions of Suicide, Thoughts of Suicide, post-episode: s03 e18 the beast within, tw!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 01:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18488833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecstozier/pseuds/malecstozier
Summary: he’s lost everything.no one cares.he’s not enough.





	down.

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS

it’s been a while since magnus found himself here. here, being both the edge of a bridge and this darkness he feels he’s drowning in. it’s with an aching familiarity that he looks down into the water, the swirling blackness that intoxicates him, sending him dizzy as he draws nearer and nearer to the edge.

he wants to step away, to roll his eyes at his own dramatic tendencies, but it’s like he’s stuck in a trance. like he can’t see any other way out but down. he’s truly lost everything. he thought that alec was different, he thought that alec loved him enough to see him through his dark days, he thought that alec was _it_ for him, the one that would see him through right to the bitter end, but turns out, he’s just another to add to the long list of ex lovers that thought him to be too much to handle.

he can’t blame alec. not really. after centuries of being reminded of his own unlovable personality, how could he? how could he stand there and say alec should be different? alec shouldn’t have to settle for him, not when he could do so much better. to alec, he was just someone to rebel with, someone to introduce him to his wild side then toss away when things got too much and Magnus can’t find it in him to be angry. he was just sad. sad that this had happened again. he’s trapped in a cycle of cruel torment and he really thought that Alec was his escape, but turns out, the only escape is _down_

Manhattan Bridge doesn’t have quite the same effect as Blackfriars Bridge. there was more of a drama to Blackfriars, as the storm raged around him and the tears flowed down his cheeks, his magic spilling through the surface of his skin, sensing the danger and trying to push him back. this time, there’s nothing. nothing to stop him.

fleetingly, he thinks of catarina and madzie. they’d get over it. they had each other. and alec. not that catarina would ever consider speaking to him again if it weren’t to threaten him or scream at him. despite himself, he smiles. catarina is the strongest person he knows, she’ll be fine.

alec doesn’t care, though. no one cares. no one cares enough. no one ever did.

he’s lost everything.

no one cares.

he’s not enough.

_everything_

_no one_

_not enough_

as he closes his eyes, though, he feels a sensation as unfamiliar to him as the touch of true love, yet as familiar to him as the pains of existence.

his _magic_

and- yes- it’s unmistakable as it courses through his bloodstream, hitting his chest with an impact big enough to send him backwards until he can’t see the waters anymore. he can’t find it in him to smile, but he holds his hands up, staring at them with wonder and confusion as his own familiar blue sparks dance around his fingers. 

he hears a voice. a voice that sends a shiver through every nerve ending in his body, sending his magic haywire as it attempted to settle in his body once more.

“so nice to see you again, son.”

_asmodeous_


End file.
